It's hit the fan

So, uh. Yeah.

I don't even know anymore. I just don't even know.

Did some nice little stat look-ups last night, when I was bored and pissed at the Sabres (and procrastinating on a paperthatIfinishedat4:00inthemorning). Turns out that... Essentially, the boys are headed for last place in the NHL. Last place. In the NHL. Not last place in the division. Not twelfth place and four points out of the playoffs. Dead last.

See, since that little 6-0-2 start of theirs, they've managed to go a glorious 5-11-1. And they're a hockey team. Not a football team. That 5-11-1 record would have them on pace for... fifty-three points. The average number of points reached by last-place teams in the league over the past seven seasons is sixty. And this isn't just a little slump... This is serious. It's not just a three-game losing streak. It's a quarter of the season. This is who the Sabres are... Isn't it frightening? The extra points they got during that cute run to start the season would perhaps prevent them from finishing in last place; they'd probably buoy the team up to second-to-last.

First to worst in two seasons? Really? ...Really.

At this point, I am not sure that I want any changes. Drastically shaking up such a terrible team would accomplish making them better, sure... But making them better would still only leave them in eleventh or twelfth place, both out of the playoffs and with a mediocre draft position. Keeping the team the way it is would, more likely than not, lead to Tavares or Hedman, and I would be down with either, to say the least.

...What is there to do? I can't even bring myself to theorize any potential moves.

In other news, Lindy Ruff has perhaps not gone off the deep end. At first, I thought that maybe he desperately wants to be fired and not quit, so he's resorted to making stupid comments that blame the goaltender in a 2-1 loss (lulz). But then... No. No, no, no. This is Lindy Ruff we are talking about here. The man loves mind games. He adores psychologically messing with his players. Now, we've all seen how Miller plays when he is angry. He plays out of his mind, to put it simply. If he's got a shutout going, and some horrible call pisses him off, you know he's going to finish the game with 0 GA. When he lets in a goal at a terrible time and does that trademark freak out of his, it's a foregone conclusion that he won't be allowing any more for the rest of the night. The man is a maniac in net when he is angry.

Of course, Lindy Ruff would know this. He would also know that with the way his team is playing lately, it would take either a shutout or only one GA every night for them to win a single game. And, he'd know that Ryan Miller is simply not capable of that. His solution? Make a stupid comment to the media purely to piss Miller off and set him on a rampage of doom for the opposition.

All speculation, of course... But I rather like my little theory. It makes perfect sense, albeit it would indeed give more credibility to the fears that Ruff has lost all control. What think ye? Am I crazy?

All I know is, right now the only good thing about being a Buffalo sports fan is that Ted Rogers is no longer with us. (And, oh, how much having my fears of the Bills' being moved be taken away makes up for this crap we all have to put up with from our teams.)

I am so much more... calm... than how my mind really is right now. I perpetually want to flip out at the Sabres and strangle them all. Realizing that the season is all but lost is not a fun thing to do...

Whatever shall we do???

NOOOOO!

Toni Lydman is hurt!

I am allowed to be dramatic about this because he is the most consistently good and physical defenseman that the Sabres have. Well, really he is the only person in both categories, but it's more fun to delude ourselves into thinking we've got guys who sometimes show some spark, because that means the potential for that to be permanent is always there.

But, seriously, atrocious giveaways aside (and he's none of those this year), I've always loved the guy. He brings it every game. Always leads the team in hits and blocked shots. Likes to break up plays. I think he's quite underrated, actually... And now that he's out of the picture against the Panthers. Um. Perhaps the Sabres should just surrender and forfeit the game without even playing.

I suppose that this means Weber will be getting the call-up? He apparently has "medical issues," but according to Lindy Ruff they're minor enough that he might get the call regardless. I, for one, would love to see him up here for a few games again. It would be nice if they called up someone else, too; doesn't matter to me. Maybe Funk... He was the epitome of horrible, kinda, the last time, and I'd love to see if he's improved at all. I mean. When they called up Mancari here and there for like two games a season, every time I was left thinking, "I NEVER want to see him in a Sabres jersey EVER again!" He was slow as molasses, downright terrible defensively, and too nervous to do a single thing on offense. But this time, he's good to go. He's finally "developed," and I like his game. So, yeah. Seeing Funk again would be nice. Then next year, when Spacek and Numminen are both gone, Funk can be what Weber is now, and Butler can be Funk. Or something like that. Yeah.

Essentially, I have absolutely nothing worthwhile to say and am just rambling because I have nothing better to do at 2:00 in the morning, other than writing papers, and I'm sick of doing that.

This goes out to Patrick Kaleta:



Also. The reason I haven't commented on the Avery situation is that the only thing I can think is, "LOL Avery," and that is not very interesting.

Less than two weeks until the semester is over... Oh, yeah. I'm missing the game tomorrow night fo' sho'. Waaaay too many college shenanigans to get out of the way. [insert frowny face here]

Like it's 1999

Let us all pause to celebr--mourn the death of one Rogers in Toronto.

....Now that we've done that, let's party, because there's now a significant chance that the Bills will actually stay in Buffalo following Ralph Wilson's death.

I've never felt so... gleeful... over the death of another person.

Is this wrong?

I mean. I would not be happy one bit if he hadn't lived a full life, but he did. So. Um. As a Buffalo Bills fan, I cannot think of a single negative to this.

I am slightly ecstatic at the moment, and I can't bring myself to feel the least bit guilty about it. Is that a bad thing?

Please tell me, my lovely fellow Bills fans, that you feel the same... or at least that the thought occurred.

LIES

"Let's just wipe the slate and move forward."

"We put this part of the season behind us, and we're starting fresh."

"We need to be more accountable."
(YOU THINK????)

Yada yada yada blah blah blah. I will believe it when I see it on the ice. We've played this game before... And the results were not any better than the horribleness we'd become accustomed to. Not that that's Ruff's fault. No. We now all know that it's the players that are the driving force behind their awful play. That fact is simply inescapable after seeing how ridiculously wonderful they were to start off this season.

Jerks.

I'm such a cynic now... I can't help it. I can only act the way their play dictates, and lately it's been. Um. Yeah.

Also, we are trading Max to Toronto pronto for Schenn because I had a dream that we did, and my dreams are always 100% accurate. That's why Ales Kotalik is signing with the Senators over the offseason. lulz

And that'll be all. Why? I've got no tiempo to blogblogblo, when I have finals and papers and all that jazz. I can go to message boards and post for ten-minute sprees throughout the day, but that's about it. Ewww.

Just kill me now

*bashes head on keyboard*

7y6u6y67y6i86

More analysis to come when I don't have three papers due this Friday.