The easy thing to do is to predict a 4-3 comeback win from the Sabres in which Drew Stafford gets the first goal of the game before they fall behind 3-1, leaving it all up to Thomas Vanek to score a natural hat trick beginning when there are three minutes left in the third period and ending twenty seconds into overtime.
But, no.
Instead I am going to make an entire preview. This won't happen before every game. I guarantee it. I am just procrastinating at the moment because I really do not feel like typing up the rest of this eight-page paper that is due at 8:00 tomorrow, or studying for the bio test I have at 11:00 tomorrow. See what a good student I am?! Seriously. So, I'll probably only make previews when I am attempting to procrastinate and really should not. I predict I'll get four and a half hours of sleep tonight. Go to bed at 2:00, fall asleep at 2:30, and have my alarm go off at 7:00. The sacrifices I make for this team...
Anyway, on with the preview!
Buffalo Sabres (14 pts) vs. Tampa Bay Lightning (7 pts)
-----Goaltending-----
Buffalo:
Ryan Miller ------------Save %: .940
------------GAA: 1.60
------------SA: 167
------------Record: 5-0-1
Tampa Bay:
Mike Smith------------Save %: .942
------------GAA: 2.11
------------SA: 212
------------Record: 2-2-2
Edge:
Tampa Bay
-----Defense-----
Buffalo:
SA per game: 28.4, eleventh in the NHL
Completely subjective quality SA per game: 8
Tampa Bay:
SA per game: 37.5, worst in the NHL
Completely subjective quality SA per game: 36
Edge:
Buffalo
-----Offense-----
Buffalo:
SF per game: 29.1, sixteenth in the NHL
Offensive leader:
Thomas VanekPoints: 11
Goals: 8
Assists: 3
Tampa Bay:
SF per game: 27.8, twenty-second in the NHL
Offensive leader:
Vincent LecavalierGoals: 5
Assists: 1
Edge:
Buffalo
-----Special Teams-----
Buffalo:
PP: 21.6%, seventh in the NHL
PK: 90.2%, fourth in the NHL
Tampa Bay:
PP: 10.8%, better only than the Panthers
PK: 84.3%, eleventh in the NHL
Edge:
Buffalo
I apologize for the overall suckiness and ineptitude of that preview. Basically, it's not even interesting. BUT since Buffalo has the edge in every category but goaltending, and even that is really, really minor, I'm gonna have to pick the Sabres to win this one. I mean, I'd pick them to win regardless of what team they're playing, but it's nice to have that validated by, you know, actual and real stats, and not just my heart.
I predict a 4-1 Buffalo win, only because predicting shutouts is just epic fail, and, well, SOMEONE other than Thomas Vanek has to score a goal against the Lightning someday. AM I RIGHT, SABRES?
Oh, and let us not forget!
The "EEEEEEEE!" factor that is the beautiful goodness of Paul Gaustad will be playing tonight. As in, he will actually be there, at the game, skating and playing on the PK. He just won't be able to fight, because the cast on his poor wittle thumb won't let him take his gloves off. =( So sad. But the team will fight through such a time as this, through having Paul Gaustad back while knowing that he can't stick up for anybody. It's like being a little kid and KNOWING that your parents have your Christmas presents in their closet and then peeking... in the middle of October. And then having to wait two more months before you can finally play your N64 for the first time. (That may or may not be a true story.)
I'm looking at you, Adam Mair. Be the best Paul Gaustad you can be while he is there, on the ice, in the lineup, but unable to get in the face of anybody who looks at Miller or Kaleta wrong.
Just win. That's all I care about. WIN.
If we lose to the Lightning, Buffalo goes into catastrophe mode. I hope all the Sabres realize this. Lyke, ZOMG, our football team loses and then our hockey team loses three games in a row!!! WHAT ARE WE GOING TO DO!?!?!?!?!? Basically, the fates of hundreds of thousands rests in the Sabres' hands tonight. Whether or not Derek Roy and Maxim Afinogenov want to wake up to bodies floating in the lake outside their condos is totally up to them.
So WIN.
Buffalo
-----Special Teams-----
Buffalo:
PP: 21.6%, seventh in the NHL
PK: 90.2%, fourth in the NHL
Tampa Bay:
PP: 10.8%, better only than the Panthers
PK: 84.3%, eleventh in the NHL
Edge:
Buffalo
I apologize for the overall suckiness and ineptitude of that preview. Basically, it's not even interesting. BUT since Buffalo has the edge in every category but goaltending, and even that is really, really minor, I'm gonna have to pick the Sabres to win this one. I mean, I'd pick them to win regardless of what team they're playing, but it's nice to have that validated by, you know, actual and real stats, and not just my heart.
I predict a 4-1 Buffalo win, only because predicting shutouts is just epic fail, and, well, SOMEONE other than Thomas Vanek has to score a goal against the Lightning someday. AM I RIGHT, SABRES?
Oh, and let us not forget!
The "EEEEEEEE!" factor that is the beautiful goodness of Paul Gaustad will be playing tonight. As in, he will actually be there, at the game, skating and playing on the PK. He just won't be able to fight, because the cast on his poor wittle thumb won't let him take his gloves off. =( So sad. But the team will fight through such a time as this, through having Paul Gaustad back while knowing that he can't stick up for anybody. It's like being a little kid and KNOWING that your parents have your Christmas presents in their closet and then peeking... in the middle of October. And then having to wait two more months before you can finally play your N64 for the first time. (That may or may not be a true story.)
I'm looking at you, Adam Mair. Be the best Paul Gaustad you can be while he is there, on the ice, in the lineup, but unable to get in the face of anybody who looks at Miller or Kaleta wrong.
Just win. That's all I care about. WIN.
If we lose to the Lightning, Buffalo goes into catastrophe mode. I hope all the Sabres realize this. Lyke, ZOMG, our football team loses and then our hockey team loses three games in a row!!! WHAT ARE WE GOING TO DO!?!?!?!?!? Basically, the fates of hundreds of thousands rests in the Sabres' hands tonight. Whether or not Derek Roy and Maxim Afinogenov want to wake up to bodies floating in the lake outside their condos is totally up to them.
So WIN.
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